Russian Mail Drone Embarks On Maiden Voyage: Crashes Straight Into A Wall: Somebody's Getting Disappeared
People in the Russian city of Ulan-Ude gathered on Monday for the first voyage of a postal drone, meant to deliver to the remote parts of the Siberian wilderness. The drone was supposed to carry a small package to a neighboring village, but it never finished that trip.
After climbing to dizzying heights in that Russian sky, the $20,000 disoriented machine quickly dove towards an unintended target: a very unforgiving brick wall. No one was injured, but the little buddy smashed to pieces.
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Oh boy, this is not the introduction you want. If you’re debuting your new mail delivering drone, you want that thing to make it at least out of eye sight before it crashes. At that point you’ve got a myriad of excuses that you can go with. You can make up some shit about it hitting a bird, or throw out some propaganda that Poland shot it down and should be invaded again. In this situation, you’re unfortunately out of options: this thing clearly just hit a wall. Brutal. Somebody’s going to Siberia in the next 24 hours. This is the worst possible outcome for all parties involved.
On our end however, not so much. We needed this. We needed Russia to take an L, and we needed AI to show that it’s still not ready to initiate global domination. We basically needed to know that Russia and AI weren’t going to work together to take over the world, that’s it. I don’t count that driverless car killing someone because that feels very much in line with what AI would want to happen. Basically, it appears that while Russia has the technological ability to steal (buy from Facebook) all of your data and change every election in the world, they can’t figure out how to deliver packages by drone yet. Thank god for Amazon. That’s what capitalism gets you, you suckers.
This is a tough blow for Russians. Just like kicking out Russian spies, drone deliveries are all the rage right now. Your crooked tech overlords are trying to convince you that these all-seeing robot spies can be used for something other than killing. I’m not buying it for a second, but if it means that I can get my package a day or two quicker then I’ll look the other way on this one. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know they delivered mail in Russia. I figured everything went to Putin and he took all the birthday money and P.F. Chang’s gift cards and shredded the rest.
