Here's A Blog Are You Happy Now?

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Hello.

I went to college to learn how to spell and it's not going great for me.

Turns Out Sperm Don't Swim Like Lame-o's Instead Roll Over Like Playful Otters

Aug 1

Aug 1 Turns Out Sperm Don't Swim Like Lame-o's Instead Roll Over Like Playful Otters

Outrage in Michigan After Norwegian Flag Confused for Confederate Flag: Everybody In This Story’s An Idiot

Aug 1

Aug 1 Outrage in Michigan After Norwegian Flag Confused for Confederate Flag: Everybody In This Story’s An Idiot

Alligator's Got Powerful Friend In Powerful Places: Gets 1st Degree Assault Charge Wiped

Jul 30

Jul 30 Alligator's Got Powerful Friend In Powerful Places: Gets 1st Degree Assault Charge Wiped

Ranking MLB Fake Fan Options: Cardboard, Hologram, or Poorly Functioning Robot

Jul 30

Jul 30 Ranking MLB Fake Fan Options: Cardboard, Hologram, or Poorly Functioning Robot

Scientist Fucked Up and Created a New Kind of Fish and This Is a Warning Sign

Jul 29

Jul 29 Scientist Fucked Up and Created a New Kind of Fish and This Is a Warning Sign

The Red Lobster Employee Who Found and Saved a 1 in 2 Million Blue Lobster Deserves So Much More Credit Than We’re Giving Them

Jul 29

Jul 29 The Red Lobster Employee Who Found and Saved a 1 in 2 Million Blue Lobster Deserves So Much More Credit Than We’re Giving Them

Zoos Are Keeping Penguins Busy With Bubbles and Frankly I’m Disappointed in Penguins

Jul 28

Jul 28 Zoos Are Keeping Penguins Busy With Bubbles and Frankly I’m Disappointed in Penguins

States Warning People Not to Plant Random Seeds They’re Receiving from China: Who the Fuck is Doing That

Jul 28

Jul 28 States Warning People Not to Plant Random Seeds They’re Receiving from China: Who the Fuck is Doing That

Guy Tosses Bottle at Seal: It’s a Bad Week for Seal Vengeance

Jul 27

Jul 27 Guy Tosses Bottle at Seal: It’s a Bad Week for Seal Vengeance

2 Students Find Asteroid: Completely Show Up NASA

Jul 27

Jul 27 2 Students Find Asteroid: Completely Show Up NASA

We’ve Got a National Coin Shortage (Emergency) and It’s Prime Time to Phase Out the (No Good, Dirt Diggin', Hound Doggin', Goddamn, Motherfucking) Nickel

Jul 25

Jul 25 We’ve Got a National Coin Shortage (Emergency) and It’s Prime Time to Phase Out the (No Good, Dirt Diggin', Hound Doggin', Goddamn, Motherfucking) Nickel

Apartment Renter Banned by Landlord for Eating Meat: I Side With PETA!

Jul 24

Jul 24 Apartment Renter Banned by Landlord for Eating Meat: I Side With PETA!

Burger King Off the Hook for Cooking Impossible Whoppers on Meaty Grills

Jul 24

Jul 24 Burger King Off the Hook for Cooking Impossible Whoppers on Meaty Grills

Nate Robinson to Fight Jake Paul on September 12: Throwback to Nate's Bulls Vs. Nets Game 4 Heroics in 2013

Jul 24

Jul 24 Nate Robinson to Fight Jake Paul on September 12: Throwback to Nate's Bulls Vs. Nets Game 4 Heroics in 2013

Fitness Model Decides Hugh Jackman Diet "Not for Everybody": No Shit You Dumb Motherfucker

Jul 23

Jul 23 Fitness Model Decides Hugh Jackman Diet "Not for Everybody": No Shit You Dumb Motherfucker

Tourists Are Too Fat and the Gondoliers Can't Take It Anymore

Jul 23

Jul 23 Tourists Are Too Fat and the Gondoliers Can't Take It Anymore

Taco Bell Removes Menu Items: Fucks With The Last Group of People On Earth I’d Ever Fuck With

Jul 22

Jul 22 Taco Bell Removes Menu Items: Fucks With The Last Group of People On Earth I’d Ever Fuck With

Kansas Dog Escapes to Old Home In Missouri: Owners Should Take a Hint

Jul 22

Jul 22 Kansas Dog Escapes to Old Home In Missouri: Owners Should Take a Hint

Most Confusing Fight of All Time: Man Struck By Hatchet: An Exploration of the Word “Laceration”

Jul 21

Jul 21 Most Confusing Fight of All Time: Man Struck By Hatchet: An Exploration of the Word “Laceration”

I've Got Bad News For Fans of This Anti-Racist Beer: It Is Most Definitely Racist

Jul 21

Jul 21 I've Got Bad News For Fans of This Anti-Racist Beer: It Is Most Definitely Racist