Never have I ever been more disappointed in a government institution that I am with NASA at this very moment. At least faking the moon landing took balls.

Losers get locked out, and the world isn't built for losers!

Please click this, I can't contain my enthusiasm about one thing in particular.

He must be PISSED he went through the effort of keeping three passports up to date and still got caught!

A conspiracy that goes all the way to the core of the Cleveland Visitors Center...

My official statement on this: a terrible waste of meth.

Hey you! You're lucky to even be able to read!

I cried playing the first one, I'll surely cry playing the second, and I may or may not be crying now.

This is one of the few times I'll disagree with "science". If our airplane starts shaking we're all going to die.

annnnnnd I think I just convinced myself that throwing your pee is worse than murder.

I'm starting to think this guy killed Kim Wall!

No way this is true *rushes to check if current healthcare plan covers cancer*

Your daily reminder that I'm a coward, and my daily reminder that my fear of open water might demand I speak to a professional.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's how many consecutive times you get punched in the face.

I'll give him kudos, I would have bet a million dollars that Jerry Jones would have said the most bat shit offensive thing at the NFL Owners Meeting.

Which is interesting, because weed usually makes me hide from people.

An F16 crashing into a forest and my Ikea furniture falling apart should not have the same explanation.

Don’t put stuff on your face that will give you cancer! Or learning problems!

I made a best friend and almost killed myself!